Rehearsal

Rehearsal. The monotonous task that consumes every waking moment of an actor’s life. At first, actors are happy to start rehearsal because it’s fresh and new. But once they get closer to the performance dates, they dread every day of it. That is the stage that I am in right now. I am staring to hate going to rehearsal because we’ve been working on the same thing for the past three weeks straight. I’m starting to hate the people that I work with. I see them at school all day and to tell you the truth that’s enough. But now I have to endure them for another two to three hours more. You have no idea how much I would rather go home and do homework.

Now, this may just sound like another actor complaining but if you talk to any other actor they know this cycle. It goes from excitement to tedium to hell week and then back to excitement for opening night. But then once the show is over everyone has no idea what to do with their extra time after school. And everyone is complaining, “I miss rehearsal,” “Let’s all get together and do something,” but it never happens. Why? Because we all hate each other now! We don’t want to look at another person that was in the cast unless it’s in passing at some random place.

After a while, actors just become the most annoying people you will ever meet. I know this because I have worked for them as a stage manager, director, and a designer. They are so self-centered it drives me insane! Now, you’re probably thinking, “Well, if you’re an actor, aren’t you like that too?” And my answer is: no I’m not. I sympathize with the technical people because I understand their frustration. Also, techies are the coolest people to be around. For example, I was having dinner with the entire cast and crew of a show I was working on and all of the actors were talking about, practically, themselves and all the techies were talking about mythical creatures and recipes.  So, if you ever get a chance to work on a show be a techie! It’s the best thing ever!

Pre-Show Freak Out!

March 26, 2014

            Holy shit, the stress before a show is unbearable! Like it was thirty minutes before my show and my actors were just getting into their costumes. They have four costume changes! They have to layer! Then, they didn’t pre-set their props until the house opened. By the time they were ready, it was time for them to get into places for the show to start. What was I doing during this time? I was trying NOT to pull out my hair and scream at the top of my lungs. Like WTF?!

            I even had a prop and costume scare. One of my actors couldn’t find their first costume. It was in the room that we rehearsed in that morning. She was supposed to have it with her at all times. Then, another one thought she lost one of her props. So, I started freaking out because the prop was from my house. We found them but with a few minutes to spare.

            While I was waiting in the audience, I could feel my stomach doing summer saults. I couldn’t help but stand up and move around until someone forced me to sit down. I was so nervous! I was nervous that no one was going to laugh during the show or even understand what was going on in the show. It was the worst feeling ever. But once everything got started, the show was fantastic. People laughed, they were engaged, and I was so relieved. Stressing over nothing, it’s what I do best.

Not Enough Time in the Day

March 20, 2014

            So, dress rehearsal went a lot better than I thought it would be but some of the acting was not where I wanted it to be. Some of the actors forgot their lines, but it wasn’t anything serious. It was just a few things here and there. Also since this was the first run that we had in two weeks, I wasn’t too surprised about what happened. Now all I have to do is get them where I want them until we perform next week. This might be a little difficult since we just had rehearsal with all of the props today and there are like a hundred props. Why didn’t I get a stage manager? That would have made my life so much better.

Whatever, I’m doing fine at the moment; not a stress out mess like I was a couple days ago. But I am still stressed out because the other shows opened yesterday and I still had work to do by the time I got home. I don’t want to get even more behind because then I wouldn’t be able to catch up at all.

I have to stay focused or else everything will fall apart. It’s so hard to keep focus on so many things though. I have rehearsal in the morning, school all day, rehearsal for another show afterwards, and then the performances after that. When do I have time to do everything else? Somehow I’ve managed to stay relatively sane through all this chaos, but I can’t promise that something might happen because I don’t even know. Right now I’m just going through the motions and if I hit a snag somehow I’ll fix it.

Being a Director and a Student

March 18, 2014

            So, I have dress rehearsal tonight and one of my actors isn't here, the costumes aren’t finished, they haven’t timed the quick changes, I don’t even know if they have all of their props, and I’m here freaking the fuck out because I thought I could be my own stage manager and do everything myself. Thank Christ for stage managers. They are the best creatures ever created. And how desperate I am for one. Then I wouldn’t be as stressed out of my skull.

I’m stressed and angry and I don’t know where to put this negative energy. If I don’t do anything I’m going to blow up at some innocent person that doesn’t deserve my wrath, make them cry, and not feel any remorse until later. Why did I think I could do this all on my own?! Am I just at much of an idiot?! And I have so much shit to catch up on. I’m final caught up in English, but that’s just one subject. I still have Psychology, Government, environmental science, and French! This has so far been the worst week of my life. AND THE WEEK JUST STARTED! What’s worse is that the one act plays start on Wednesday. Just perfect, something else I have to go to and will be graded on.

Can I just graduate already? There just aren’t enough hours in the day for me to get everything done! I have school for eight hours, then rehearsal for another two, dress rehearsal until 7:30, and then fucking homework and makeup work. It’s only fucking Tuesday, WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO?

            This is all my fault too you know. I took the time off to not be in school, and now look where it got me: a stressed out mess of a person with no sense of control and no time to finish everything. You see that’s my problem, I want to control everything in my life and when I can’t do that, I just fall to pieces. This has happened before, not exactly on this particular scale, but it has happened. Not sure how I got out of it, but that’s my life for you: I get out of problems and I have no fucking clue how.